Pickpocket
by DaniChibari
Summary: I'm not proud it... I only do it so I can take care of myself and make ends meet.


As Alfred stepped off the grubby bus and into the bitter cold January air, he was immediately pulled into the steady stream of pedestrians bustling down the sidewalk directly ahead of him. Not that he cared much. In fact, it was actually a fortuitous ocurrence. It was in his best interest to go with the flow; it was the easiest way to divert all attention from himself, to not be noticed. Alfred's height didn't help him blend in very well, but over the years he had mastered a number of tricks to help him disappear into a crowd.

_Play it cool, Al. Just follow the crowd. Go where they go, do what they do. Blending in is mostly mental; you'll only stick out if you're worried about it. _As Alfred thought this a cold wind caused him to shiver. He used that as an opportunity to zip up his coat a little higher. _See? Perfectly natural thing to do. I'm blending right in._

At the next intersection Alfred stopped and waited impatiently, much like the crowd around him, for his turn to cross. As he crossed the street Alfred longed to crane his neck and look over the crowd, but he restrained himself. _That would sick out like a sore thumb. I'll just have to wait for a gap in the crowd. _And so he kept his head level as his eyes darted back and forth trying to find a gap that would let him see further down the sidewalk. It took a while but eventually there was a split second gap that let him see all the way down the block. And that was all he needed.

There was an ATM at the next corner, Alfred already knew that. But in that split second he was pleasantly surprised to see that a bushy-browed man carrying a suitcase had just finished making a transaction and was futzing around with his wallet as he walked down the street in Alfred's direction. _Perfect. _Alfred tried not to smile or speed up his gait as he was suddenly overcome with cupidity. Instead, he focused on nonchalantly moving towards the other side of the crowd and setting himself up for a head on collision with the distracted businessman.

Alfred stayed out of the man's line of sight and let himself get closer and closer. _Wait for it… wait for it… Now! _ Alfred waited for the man to be looking down before speeding up just the slightest bit and crashing into him. The collision was enough to knock the man over and Alfred feigned a stumble to make the collision seem unintentional.

"Whoops, sorry man" Alfred laughed sheepishly. "Guess I wasn't watching where I was going." Alfred offered his hand to help the man up. _Always offer to help them up. They won't think you stole anything if you seem genuinely sorry._ "You alright?"

"Yes, yes, just fine," the man responded irritably with a British accent. He then rejected Alfred's hand, picked himself up off the ground, brushed his clothes off and left without so much as another word.

_Jerk, _Alfred thought. But he couldn't dwell on that; his pickpocketing plot wasn't quite done yet. He quickly (but not _too _quickly) ducked out of the crowd and into the nearest store. Once there, he pretended to examine the price of the merchandise then pulled out the wallet he had so cleverly purloined.

_Score! _Alfred smiled as he pulled out ten crisp twenty dollar bills and several fives and singles that must have been there before the man stopped at the ATM. Alfred counted a total of two hundred seventeen dollars. _Not bad, _he thought, stashing all the money in his inside coat pocket. _But I'm not done yet. _Alfred stepped outside, took a deep breath, then took off running after the man waving the wallet in his hand.

Alfred was in the store for only a minute or so, so it wasn't long before he saw the man he had bumped into up ahead.

"Hey! Hey, you with the suitcase!" Alfred called out. _It's okay to be loud now. In fact it would only be natural for someone to be loud if they're trying to get someone's attention. So in this case by sticking out I'm still blending in._

The bushy-browed guy turned around and immediately gave an annoyed glare upon recognizing the person crying out for his attention. "What do you want?" he snapped, impatiently tapping his foot.

"Sorry to come running back man, but ummm," Alfred panted as he held out the wallet. "You must have dropped your wallet back there."

The man's green eyes lit up. "I hadn't even realized that I…" the man muttered as he grabbed his wallet. "Thank you, very much," he said sincerely.

"Sure thing man! I'm just glad I was able to get it to you before you ran off." He smiled cheerily. "Anyhow, I gotta run. See ya!" And Alfred ran off, giving the man one last wave as he disappeared into the crowd. He even saw the man wave back before turning around and heading towards his destination once more.

_Sucker. He didn't even check his wallet before putting back in his pocket. _Alfred figured it would probably be a while before the man would realize his hapless fate, and by then not only would Alfred already be pickpocketing some other loser but it would be far too late for this bushy-browed Brit to do anything about it.

_I'm not proud it though. I only do it so I can take care of myself and make ends meet. Still though… _Alfred touched his coat where the money was_. It seems like no matter I steal, it always ends up feeling so heavy._

* * *

**Whoops! Sorry about the delay guys. This was supposed to be posted on Sunday... oh well! Three days late isn't _that _bad.**

**Oh and in case you didn't notice, I'M BACK! I'm finally writing and posting things after nearly TWO MONTHS on hiatus. School's just the best, isn't it?**

**Anyways, you can probably expect a one-shot a week from now until Spring Break. So let the one-shot mania recommence!**


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